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Post by Riley Hart on May 28, 2010 13:54:56 GMT -6
It was five in the morning. Riley sat awake on the couch. Alec was sick, and she couldn't sleep. Looking at his tiny, beautiful little face reminded her off the past.
Life was not what she imagined it to be at this point in her life. When she was 16, she envisioned herself at college, joining a sorority and living the best days of her life. Unfortunately for her, she made some very poor choices. Her world was turned upside down.
She looked down at Alec's face. He looked like his father, and that made reality even more real. No matter how bad she wanted it to be true, Alec would never have Chris's face. Even if someday they did end up together, Alec would never be his son.
'I don't deserve him,' she thought.
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Post by Chris Taylor on Jun 2, 2010 12:56:53 GMT -6
He’d been walking for years. Well, no. Just for a few minutes actually, yet with every footstep he took along the paved sidewalk seemed to take such a long time until it felt as if he was trapped in an endless time hole. His head stared down nervously and regretfully at the ground as he walked while his hands laid huddled within his pockets.
He didn’t know why he was doing this. Why was he doing this when he could be at home or the gym or the park or anywhere doing anything in the world for that matter besides this? Why was he pulling himself towards what would be one of the most painful moments of his life? Why? Why? Why?
And yet, his feet went on their journey towards the intended location, not even signaling any wanting to take a step back and turn around. His body was stuck going forward. He couldn’t go back. He wouldn’t go back. He had to do this. If he didn’t, she would hang over him forever. She would flood his thoughts every moment he wanted to find peace. And that, he could not live with.
His feet finally took their place on the ground and halted in the middle of a hallway. It was cold and empty there. And of course, he was shaking like a baby. As he reached out his fist, he reminded himself that he could turn back. He could leave and run and forget about this all. She would never know he was even here.
His fist landed on the door with a loud bang. It was done.
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Post by Riley Hart on Jun 2, 2010 13:49:36 GMT -6
Riley heard a loud noise coming from the door. As she held her infant son, she made her way to the front of her large home.
She turned the doorknob and pulled the door open.
When she saw the silhouette standing in the dark of the early morning, her mind instantly tried to block it out. Her mind didn't want to deal with him, but her heart was thrilled to see him. Her heart and mind were constantly arguing with each other.
She truly wanted to be with him. She wanted them to be together and ride off into the sunset. Someday she wanted to marry him and have another child with him. But she knew that was not likely to happen and she couldn't take more heart break.
'It's risky' said experience.
'It's impossible' said reason
'It's pointless' said pride
'Give it a try' said her heart.
She stood speechless in the doorway, unable to come to a conclusion of what to do.
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Post by Chris Taylor on Jun 2, 2010 15:39:19 GMT -6
‘This is stupid,’ he though, ‘You expect her to answer that door? Maybe she will, but she’ll probably reject you. How could you possibly truly be with her?’
He took a step back, took a pause, took another step back and then took a long pause. And if the door hadn’t opened at that moment, he probably would’ve turned around and left. But once he looked up and heard it creak open, he knew there was no escaping.
“Riley…hi…Just wanted to see…you know…how you’ve been doing”
He didn’t think he’d be able to ever shift his eyes away from her beauty, but the baby boy in her arms caught his eyes. He was so tiny, so small, so handsome and so cute. His eyes were so bright and beautiful, and he could definitely see where he had gotten them. He was such a beautiful baby boy, the son of such a beautiful woman, and it pained him that this baby wasn’t his. And that Riley wasn’t his. Chris had known this truth, but staring at the life he wanted and knowing that it was impossible to grasp it; it pained him deeply.
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Post by Riley Hart on Jun 2, 2010 19:11:22 GMT -6
"I'm fine," she said, "but Alec is a bit under the weather,"
Riley stared right at Chris. His eyes hadn't changed a bit, but they looked slightly bloodshot. Like he'd been crying or not sleeping or something.
"Chris, please just tell me what you have to say,"
Her body felt suddenly weak around him. It was a feeling she had not experienced since before she was a mother. She didn't like feeling vulnerable like that. She had another life to provide strength for now.
Chris didn't seem to want to say anything, so Riley decided to initiate the conversation.
"Chris, you know how I feel about you. And I've had more than enough heart-break. I can't deal with any more. Alec needs a father. One that will love him and support him and love me and be good to me," she said.
"Chris... you told me that you loved me and then you just walked away because you can't handle when one little thing goes wrong. You know that I am in love with you. But if we are ever going to be together, you need to step up and be that guy for me and for Alec. And Chris, I want you to be that guy. So much," Riley explained.
Riley couldn't believe the words she had spoken. She was proud of herself. Just one year ago, she wouldn't be able to say any of that. Becoming a mother forced her to grow up.
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